I am excited to welcome my good friend Cody Stauffer to the blog for this weeks edition of Wedding Wednesday. Cody is and excellent Wedding Officiant. I have attended a few weddings he has Officiated, and I LOVE the way he takes the time to really make each ceremony unique to the bride and groom.
Meet Cody:
A little about me:
My name is Cody Stauffer. I’m married to a beautiful lady, Lisa Stauffer. We have a little 4 year old girl named Jessalyn, and her sister Adele is on the way (less than a month to go!). I am the pastor of a little church in Payette, Idaho (Payette Christian Church), and I officiate weddings through my own venture called “A New Chapter Wedding Ceremonies.” The day my wife and I got married, I knew I wanted to perform as many weddings as possible. There’s nothing quite like a wedding and the happiness it brings, and I love being creative with words, so I knew from that day on I wanted to be a part of helping couples have a memorable wedding experience like my wife and I enjoyed. I have been performing weddings now for 6 years, mostly in and around the Treasure Valley, but I have done weddings in Portland, Northern Idaho, and Southeastern Idaho, too.
Favorite quote:
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” –Karen Kaiser Clark
Tell us a story from one of your most memorable weddings.
Every wedding that I’ve ever been a part of has something about it that makes it memorable—sometimes, it’s the amazing location, or sometimes it’s because the couple has done something really creative, maybe with decoration or adding a unique spin on an old tradition, or with the choice of clothing. One wedding that I’ll always remember I was actually a groomsman, not officiating. It was raining AND it was an outdoor wedding, but there was something about the atmosphere of the location, the fact that the rain was that refreshing, light, cleansing type of rain that you can stand in and not get soaked to the bone. Those of us in the wedding party were dressed to in a sort of 1930’s fashion, and the rain gave the pictures a sort of vintage feel because it wasn’t pouring, only “misting.” It seemed right, and it was really beautiful.
Why do you like officiating weddings?
I love everything that a wedding represents—the beginning of new life together, a unity created out of diversity (literally!), a new chapter in the story of life, and a celebration of love, among other things. I also love being creative with words, and since I am an ordained minister, I love having the ability to craft new, creative ceremonies for the weddings I get to officiate. Even when the couple I am working is looking for a traditional, straightforward wedding, there is a lot of freedom to use words to enhance the ceremony and explore the great, big idea of love.
What inspires you?
I’m inspired by beauty and truth, and there is a lot in life that is beautiful and truthful that we often take for granted. Art, great books, movies, waterfalls, sacrifice (big and little), laughter, poetry, conversation (even small talk), innovation, design. I could go on and on. Currently, I find a TON of inspiration from my daughter, Jessalyn, who is seeing everything with such fresh eyes. It’s amazing to see the awe she has for things like the stars, for example, that has become old hat for us adults.
Tell us a little bit about the work that goes into officiating a wedding.
Once a couple contacts me to perform a wedding, I want to know as much about them as I can, because I want to create a ceremony that reflects the personality and story of the couple. I will ask them about how they met, memorable times in their relationships (that includes the tough times- adversity is a beautiful part of their story together!), inside jokes they might have, songs they enjoy together or that could relate to their relationship, and a few other things. I find out exactly the kinds of things they would like to have in their ceremony—readings, prayer, scripture, traditions like candle lightings—and then I make sure they know I am available to talk to at any time leading up to their wedding. From there, I begin the process of creating a flow for their ceremony that includes the elements they would like to see, and once that is done, I focus on getting the words just right. I generally give a short message (religious in nature or not, depending on what the couple is looking for) that incorporates themes reflective of what I have learned about the couple. I will incorporate the vows they have written, write my own, or include more traditional ones, all according to the wishes of the couple. The last thing I do is find readings (if they have not provided any and if they have said it’s okay) that match the theme of their story. And then, of course, it’s rehearsal time. My goal at the rehearsal is to be as smooth and as friendly and as professional as I can be, because the tone of the rehearsal seems to either help relieve or add to the stress anyone might be feeling at that point. I make myself available from the time we meet to the rehearsal to offer any suggestions, when asked, about the ceremony, the reception, or vendors the couple might still need for their wedding.
I also provide pre-marital counseling, as well.
Have any planning tips for a bride?
Something I’ve picked up is that it is always VERY helpful to have someone who is in a coordinating position, whether it be a professional you have hired or a friend you really trust. Brides who have someone in that role always seem to be way more relaxed on the day of the wedding. You need someone who knows exactly what you want and how you want things done and knows it well in advance so that they can handle all of the questions that people are going to have on the wedding day. I can remember one wedding I was involved with where the bride had a friend she really trusted to keep things going and who could be the “bad guy” when necessary. The bride really only had two things to worry about the day of the wedding: in the morning, she had to be to a spa on time, and she had to be to the dressing area at a specific time for hair, makeup, and to put the dress on. And that was it. The person coordinating knew exactly what the bride wanted and how it needed to be done, the bride trusted her, and it all got taken care of. The bride was so relaxed you would never have known it was her wedding day!
Why is Idaho a great place to get married?
For one thing it has seasons, which doesn’t seem like it has anything to do with weddings, but it really does! You can incorporate seasonal things- fall colors, snow, etc. – in your wedding, depending on when it is. The other thing that is nice is there is such variety in surroundings, from lakes and rivers and waterfalls, to beautiful farm settings. If you’re not going to do an outdoor wedding, there are also some incredible historic buildings and event centers, so you have a lot to choose from. The other thing that is really nice is that everywhere has that small town atmosphere, even in Boise, so things are generally relaxed and people are very friendly.
What should a bride look for in a wedding officiant?
You need someone who is going to respect what you are looking for in a ceremony, whether that be a member of the clergy who fits your faith tradition or someone licensed to perform weddings that isn’t religious. The officiant needs to be available to communicate with, and both the bride and groom need to be comfortable with the person. Don’t let prices be what make the decision for you—the officiant, more than any other part of the wedding in terms of service providers, has the most to do with the flow of the ceremony and the tone that is set, so you need to be sure it is someone who has a personality you mesh with and who is concerned with what you as a couple want.
How do you make each wedding unique?
For every wedding I do, I write an entirely new ceremony. There will be parts that are the same for some, because oftentimes the couple would like a traditional order of ceremony, with traditional vows. But for every ceremony I write a different message based on what I know of the couple and their personalities, and I try to use readings that you won’t find in any other ceremony.
What has been your proudest moment so far?
I always try to include the total experience of marriage in the message I give. At one wedding, a couple that had recently celebrated 63 years of marriage was in attendance (they were great-grandparents to the bride) came up to me and told me that I share some things that they wish they had been told about marriage, all those years ago.
What is the best marriage/relationship advice you have been given?
To never stop learning about my wife. I really believe that part of what it means to be a human being is that you have an endless soul, and that we are always growing and changing and learning. That means that every single day, even if it is in small ways or about little things, I have new things to learn and discover about my wife. Someone told me, when we were engaged, that the best marriages were ones where the couple knew they would never stop learning about each other. I think this keeps marriages—and all relationships, really—fresh, because we can’t get bored unless we give up wanting to learn new things about the other person.
Anything else brides should know?
Your wedding is your own and is all about you, BUT there are lots of people who want to celebrate it with you and who have invested part of themselves in your life. You don’t need to cater your wedding to them, but it is always good to consider them in your plans for the day (only, of course, if you are planning on having them there!).
How can brides contact you?
You can find out more information about me
at my website: www.idahoweddingofficiant.com,
my facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/idaho.wedding.officiant
@IdahoWeddings on twitter
or email me: staucody72@gmail.com
or call: (208) 440-3399
Thanks Cody! Brides, this guy is awesome! ;)
Thanks to all the constants this year. As you all may know, this year we had a tie so we put it to a vote on FB. The consolation prize is a free engagement session and 25% off any wedding package. :) And to our contestants that were not finalists, I would love to offer a 10% discount on any wedding package.
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